All Posts:
Baking a cake for my son's birthday, when my younger son decides to get jealous and piss on the cake in the oven. I mean WTF!!! Now I have to make a new cake... after cleaning the oven.
Posted by EluladayShugh on 15th May 2010 09:10
I was in a 25man raid today in world of warcraft and I caused my whole guild to wipe. I accidently blinked into a mob. They kicked me out of the guild and raid shortly after. I'm so depressed right now, I had it all.
Posted by pooberry on 14th May 2010 10:36
So i was taking my ged today and i wrote my essay about star wars making my brother want to join the air force. Enough said.
Posted by ddlewis42 on 7th May 2010 12:35
My xbox just got the red ring of death. I just frikken bought it 2 days ago. WTF!!!
Posted by EveveCagiadia on 4th May 2010 02:05
Guess my gas gauge decided not to work on my way to Florida on a 10 hour road trip. It said I had a 1/2 tank and all of a sudden it dropped to E faster than a fat kid on cake. My car was stuck in the middle lane for an hour till AAA towed it.
Posted by TitoPeddeta on 2nd May 2010 06:54
Being the fatass that I am, I walked down an isle at a garden store and knocked over 3 vases. I wouldve ran but i just walked out instead... I got some dirty looks.
Posted by predatorforyou on 2nd May 2010 01:57
I was at a cook out drinking some rum and coke. I accidentally grabbed the wrong drink, it was someone's spit cup from the tobacco shit. I immediately threw up...
Posted by bammy on 1st May 2010 04:44
I play catcher for my baseball team. The one day I forget to wear a cup... That's all i'm gonna say. I'm sure you can figure the rest out.
Posted by Hammy on 30th Apr 2010 12:57
I bought a brand new 52" hdtv for my house. I got home, hooked it all up everything was great. The picture was excellent! I was so happy! I was so pumped to watch my Brewers in HD that I decided to celebrate and get some pizza. I came back to the house and I see my dog chewing on the wires. The tv is F***ED. I shouldve bought the god damn warranty.
Posted by DrFudge on 28th Apr 2010 11:43
Walking to a big interview I had in the city, 5 minutes away from the door I stepped in a big steaming pile of dog ****. I wanted to go into the bathroom where I was going to, to wash it off, but I ran into the guy that was interviewing me and told me to come in right away. It's been a week, still havent heard anything.
Posted by captain on 26th Apr 2010 10:18
So i go out with this girl who seems nice. Everything is going well, we eat our food and I take her back to my place. I began to not feel well so I headed to the bathroom. I began vomiting and feeling like I had diarrhea. Turns out I did have the hershey squirts. The worst part is the smell got so bad, she left dry heaving.
Posted by dagger99 on 24th Apr 2010 12:43
I fell down the stairs while school was getting out today. I tumbled right through the waterfall of students going down them. Wasn't to bad except for the fact that i landed on my backpack and crushed my red gatorade. My books are all wet and red now...
Posted by DallasCowboy9 on 23rd Apr 2010 04:13
I was at work and it was my lunch break. I skipped breakfast so I was really hungry. I go get my lunch out of the fridge and eat it so fast that I didnt even taste it. A few moments after I ate it I started coughing like something was stuck in my throat. It was hair from my friends beard. Apparently he shaved his beard and put the hair in a different sandwich and swapped it with mine. He was going to tell me after a bite just to be funny but he was at a meeting. There was puke everywhere. This experience was just awful.
Posted by theconductor on 18th Apr 2010 09:53
After having my usual lunch at taco bell I arrived back at work. I got in the elevator where there was another person waiting in it. The doors closed and the elevator took off. I began to feel rather gassy and I had to let one rip. Thinking it would be silent and hopefully she would'nt notice till she got off the elevator i decided to let it rip. Turns out it was silent, so far so good. The power in my building decided to go out ONE floor away... She noticed.
Posted by Bradiator12 on 16th Apr 2010 10:07
I got tickets to a sox game a couple days before. On the day of the game I put on my sox gear, paid for the train, paid for food, and got to fenway. I gave my tickets to the fenway employee. When it was scanned it gave an error or something. Turns out the game was on a different day... It was the game before.
Posted by RSOX FAN on 14th Apr 2010 06:31
So one night i was drinking with some buddies and towards the end of the night i passed out then i woke up and couldnt find my friend, so i searched the house and just cant find him. Then i go outside and as soon as i open that door and BAM see my friends ass glowing in the moonlight.
Posted by Ray Charles on 12th Apr 2010 08:01
so last year i was at typhoon lagoon in disney world with my family and me and my dad were going down one of the water slides and this little girl like 8 years old was going down before me and i got a green light. so i went down the slide and i hit something going down. so i got off the slide and told my dad i think i hit something. 10 seconds later the little girl came out of the slide crying and screaming something hit me. I was like dad we gotta go and we ran off laughing.
Posted by D.D. Lewis on 12th Apr 2010 12:03
One time I was trying to teach people how to eat shrimp and I went to pull the tail out but the whole shrimp came out. So I tried to shove it back into my mouth real quick but I jammed it into my nose instead. Gotta love the smell of cocktail sauce in your nose
Posted by Sayid Jarrah on 10th Apr 2010 09:16
I went to pick up my kids at school. One in Kindergarten and one in first grade. So I picked up the first grader and waited for my Kindergartner to come. I waited and waited. So I decided to go to his classroom to see why he was so late. I ask his teacher, where is Billy? She said with this concerned face, I don't know he wasn't here today! I thought for a minute and realized that he was home and that I had kept him home because he wasn't feeling well!! I need a vacation!
Posted by on 9th Apr 2010 12:38
I was driving down the street and saw a cop car behind me a ways. I notice that the light was about to change to red. So I sped up a little. I looked to see if the cops had their light on, they didn't. So I sped up a little more, figuring that cop behind me was not interested in me. Well as I picked up speed, there was a cop with the radar gun just around the corner and stopped me and I got a $100. ticket. The other cop, that I thought I lost, caught up and pulled over to help the other one!!!!!!!
Posted by Sal on 9th Apr 2010 12:29
Last week I decided to enjoy the nice weather and go to the batting cages. I put my money in and get some tokens for the cage. Since I was feeling good, I decided to go into the ultra fast pitch, I usually just do medium since it's for fun. I walk into the cage, put in my token, and get in my stance for the pitch. The first pitch shot at me so fast that I swung and missed. I was a little embarassed with all the people waiting behind me to get in, especally the little children who were laughing. However they weren't exactly laughing at me missing. They were laughing at the fact that I forgot to shut the door behind me and the ball crashed into the windshield of a car. That's the last time I park in a "No Parking" zone.
Posted by McFluffin on 9th Apr 2010 03:08
So today I go to get my car washed. It wasn't that dirty but it's a brand new car so I want it to look that way. Near the wheels was the dirtiest part from mud splash and the part I was most concerned about. So I pay $8 for the car was and look at my car when I get back to work. The one spot on the car that I wanted to be cleaned was still dirty and looked worse because everything so so clean. Then I go home to hose it off and the outside faucet isn't working. I'm gonna look like a tard lol
Posted by Sayid Jarrah on 7th Apr 2010 02:54
So I was at a ball game with my friend. As the game ended, she went to the bathroom while I went to go get a cab. The problem was I was so smashed that when I got in the cab I forgot my friend. The real problem is that my friend, is actually my wife. I still dont hear the end of it to this day.
Posted by jaba on 7th Apr 2010 12:29
So in this years fantasy baseball league, I accidentally drafted Horacio Ramirez instead of Hanley Ramirez... I used the search feature on yahoo, and yeah I fucked up... For those that dont know, Hanley is #2 while, horacio is like 800.
Posted by TomBrady on 4th Apr 2010 06:15
When I played baseball as a kid I was out in front of the dug out talking to the coach for some reason. The next kid came up on deck and didn't want to look where he was swinging. He swung and hit me in the back of the head with his follow through(right wording??) Love aluminum bats to the back of the head
Posted by GL on 4th Apr 2010 12:29
I was at a new york mets game last year and I was with my 5 year old nephew, Charlie. There was a home run ball coming our way and it was hit by David Ortiz! I was excited that we were going to have a chance at it. I threw my mit up in the air to catch it and I GOT IT! Then I handed it to my nephew and he threw it right back to the field! I haven't taken him to a baseball game since. After the game was over, we were in the car, I was sitting next to him in the back, and he opened his coke and dumped it all over me. As if the day couldn't have gotten any worse ...
Posted by Michael Jackson on 4th Apr 2010 11:06
I was at the old yankee stadium once when they were playing the Red Sox. As a red sox fan I'd cheer whenever my team did something good. It was the end of the 8th when I went to go get a beer. I came back to my sit, only to sit in what appeared to be the remain of a yankee's fan's pizza. He must have placed it right as I was sitting down. To make the rest of the story short, I was thrown out of the stadium for threating and using vulgar language at a 10 year old kid...
Posted by leetsauce on 4th Apr 2010 12:23
So quick and simple here, I once swung a whiffle ball bat and pulled something... it was awful.
Posted by mo vaughn on 3rd Apr 2010 06:35
I skipped school one day during the week because I wanted to level my hunter...only to realize that it was Tuesday. at 2 o clock when blizzard said the realms would be back up they had discovered that there were more problems and they wouldn't be up until later that night. So i cracked open a beer to realize that i was allergic to hops. a skipped day to play wow ended up with a day in the hospital. fucking wow...but so fun!
Posted by Light of Elune on 2nd Apr 2010 11:08
So my friend asked me wat happened to my eye so i told him, Oh, man, it's totally serendipitous. Well, I got off work early, and you know my buddy Derrick? Well he was like, "I've got this acid, but I can't do it." And I was all like, "Well, I'll do it." So I did it. And by the time I got on my banana board, man, I was... I was tripping balls pretty hard, man. So I decided to get on my bench grinder, and a piece of metal flew up and hit me right in the eye. It was pretty awesome. And that brings us to now.
Posted by Earnest Hemingway on 1st Apr 2010 08:51
Came home once at about 10 at night on my birthday. My friends decided to throw me a surprise party for me. When I came in they all yelled surprise! Only to see me picking a bat in the cave. It had a lot of mucus to...
Posted by JK on 1st Apr 2010 02:09
Nothing like walking down the street only to trip on nothing in the middle of an intersection. It gets worst... all of a sudden I could hear a cop's siren... I was in the way of a cop car and an ambulance.
Posted by izzy on 1st Apr 2010 12:24
Woke up at 6am and drove my 2 hour commute to work only to realize that it is Saturday... I dont work on Saturdays...
Posted by Stupid on 31st Mar 2010 02:04
So I recently spent $3,000 on a vacation to Disney and Universal studio's. It's been quite some time since I've been there and since then I've put on quite a bit of weight. I no longer fit on any roller coasters or thrill rides except maybe 1 or 2. The rest of the trip I spent walking around, FUN
Posted by Frank the Fatty on 29th Mar 2010 01:33
I was driving in my car when I went down the wrong way of a one way entrance. There was an oncoming car coming and I was debating how to get out of the way. I saw a spot where I could pull over where he wouldve had enough room. As I begin to pull into my car decided to break down. So now I have a ticket for going down the wrong way, a tow fee, and I have to pay to get my car fixed now...
Posted by BS on 29th Mar 2010 01:33
although beer 30 is very cheap it is probly the most god awful thing every...when u drink it u can taste the aluminium of the can in the beer, its like eating a beer can its that bad...so once again plz do ur self a favor and not get it, but it does have alcohol in it
Posted by G-Baby on 28th Mar 2010 11:16
I ate a lot at an all you can eat buffet. I threw up all over my friends car. He just bought the car last week and its a brand new Cadillac with leather seats.
Posted by Fat Frank on 28th Mar 2010 08:57
My bed sucks. I bought what I thought was to be a matress pad, to give me some kind of "support" on the protruding coils. I spent about 50$ ... got it in the mail about one week ago, and turned out it was a fancy cover to the product that I wished to had bought.
Posted by William Blogner on 28th Mar 2010 03:29
I bought a new ipod off ebay. turns out its just the box. $20 well spent.
Posted by maria on 28th Mar 2010 03:28
I was at a party once and I was in charge of serving the ice cream. It was frozen solid so I zapped it in the microwave. Turns out I accidently hit 5 minutes and didnt think about it till I heard the beep. So now we have no ice cream...
Posted by bababooie on 28th Mar 2010 01:41
i finally get home after a long day of work and i just want to play some wow. i finally connect after waiting in a long queue only for my internet to stop working. Worst part is now i feel like i have no life because i couldnt figure out what to do the rest of the night
Posted by ben on 27th Mar 2010 08:24
After spending all day on a huge project, my professor told me that it didnt really matter becuase I already had an A in his class. It turns out that the project was for extra credit. So now I have to go to a very important job interview with no sleep...
Posted by bigb on 27th Mar 2010 07:08
Went number two at my friends house, only to find out that there was no toilet paper. No one was in the house as they were waiting for me outside. I ended up using part of the shower curtain, only to find out that there was toilet paper under the sink.
Posted by Larry on 26th Mar 2010 10:25
